Today I had one of those moments that I completely broke down. I let it all out. I cried, I sobbed, I screamed. I had bottled up my feelings for so long that I felt hopeless, swamped and overwhelmed. I was hurting, felt completely alone, and isolated from the real world. I did not think anyone could understand the pain and turmoil I was going through and have gone through. Then an unexpected friend called and I was no longer alone. I unloaded and it was nice to be heard, listened to and understood. It was a load off my chest. It gave me clarity and hope.
Why do we keep things bottled up when it only hurts our loved ones and ourselves? It does not benefit anyone to hurt or feel alone. My advice, reach out and let out. Do not keep it bottled up and you are not alone. Ask for help.
From my art journal made out of oil pastel. This represents the person on the island waiting. The island is beautiful but solitary. The ocean is large and vast, it can be scary, but in order to live, you have to leave the comforts of the island. You have to venture into the open, and begin life. You must save yourself.
You sit you wait. You complain, you whine, you bitch and moan, but you wait. Time passes and you still wait. You are alone and unhappy, but you wait. You long for another, you long for love, you long for happiness, but you wait. You long for life to begin.
I too am a victim of waiting. I can list many reasons why I have waited and what I have waited for, but those are unimportant they are merely excuses for not living. I cannot reclaim my lost time or replace it, but I can live today and stop waiting. I am thankful to the doctor who told me to that I was dieing and I needed to make arrangements for my daughter. At that moment, nor am I now, ready to give up or wait for death. I wanted to live, so I stop waiting. I stopped waiting for the pain to disappear. I stopped waiting for that miracle cure. I stopped waiting for the doctors to care. I stopped waiting for the HMO to approve my surgeries, procedures, out of network referrals, medications. I stopped waiting for tomorrow when I might feel better. I began my life that day and everyday forward, free from the heavy burden and pressure of waiting.
This is for you my dear friend, stop waiting and longing. If you want something in life, you cannot wait for it to come your way. Confront it, go after it, grab it by and by the horns and claim it. You are the master over it. Just stop waiting. Do not let your fears force you into submissive waiting or before you know, your life has passed you by.