Drowning – Above the Water
Have you ever had that feeling that you are drowning and you cannot keep your head above the water? Lately, I think this is how I feel every day. The undercurrent is dragging me down and pulling me further out to sea.
I have one of those complicated lives in which nothing is ever easy. I am 31-year-old female, in college full-time, with a 10-year-old daughter and a terminal disease. Two years ago, after a ten-year leave of absence, I decided to return to college. Initially, I was excited, motivated and determined to complete my education. Yet with all my motivation and determination, it was still quite difficult. I think the hardest task, learning how to study. Now, months before my graduation, I do not have that drive anymore. It has deflated and I do not know if I can do it anymore. Most days, getting out of bed is a huge task. It is not depression, but pain that keeps me immobilized.
At this point, there is just so much to do, to catch up on, just everything and I just do not know where to begin. This makes me feel like I am drowning and I cannot stay above the water.